I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
