And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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