whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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