Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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