Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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