Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
