hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
