I'm jealous of your bromance
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
