Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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