Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Blood and glitter go together right?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
