RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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