I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
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Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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