AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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