the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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