I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
