Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
