you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
