all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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