Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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