Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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