it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
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Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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