fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
