We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
