I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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