I think I died a long time ago.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
