Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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