His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
