I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
