Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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