I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
