8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
