You're completely useless in the revolution.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
