I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
