"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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