this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
where does the pee come out of this thing
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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