it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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