trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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