I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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