he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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