oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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