Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
