I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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