i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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