Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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