I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
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Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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