Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize