i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
