ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
