hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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