I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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