I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize