We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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