you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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