and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
