I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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