I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
