Already got asked if we're dating
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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