you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
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