Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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